[Body]
Alright, so lemme tell ya about this God of War Ragnarok thingy, the one they call Valhalla. Yeah, that’s it. My grandkids, they keep yappin’ about it, so I figured, why not poke around a bit?
First off, they say it’s a free update. Free! You hear that? Back in my day, nothin’ was free. You wanted somethin’, you gotta work for it, sweat for it. But these young’uns, they gettin’ all this stuff for nothin’.
Anyway, this Valhalla thing, it’s like an extra story, they say. Happens after the main game is over. Kratos, that angry fella, he’s in it, and that talkin’ head too, Mimir, I think they call him. Always jabberin’, that one. Reminds me of my old rooster, always crowin’ about somethin’.
- It’s got this thing called “roguelite.” Don’t ask me what that means, sounds fancy.
- But from what I gather, you fight and fight, and if you die, well, you start over. Kind of like life, ain’t it? You keep tryin’, keep goin’, even when things get tough.
- And there’s somethin’ about hordes too. Lots of enemies comin’ at ya all at once. Sounds like a hen house when a fox gets in, feathers flyin’ everywhere!
They say it came out December 12th. Just before Christmas, imagine that. Kids probably nagged their parents to death for it. I remember when Christmas was about gettin’ a new pair of socks and maybe an orange. Now they want these video game contraptions.
They keep talkin’ about maps too. Vanaheim, Alfheim, Sindri’s somethin’-somethin’. Sounds like a bunch of made-up places to me. When I was young, the only map I needed was the one that showed me the way to the market and back.
But these kids, they get all excited about explorin’ these virtual worlds. I guess it’s their way of seein’ things they can’t see in real life. Like travelin’ to faraway lands without ever leavin’ the couch. Lazy, if you ask me, but hey, times change, I guess.
This Kratos fella, he’s always fightin’, always angry. Reminds me of old man Johnson down the street, always complainin’ about somethin’. But I guess that’s what makes these games exciting. You get to be the big tough guy, beatin’ up monsters and whatnot. Me, I’d rather just sit down with a cup of tea and a good biscuit.
So, this Valhalla DLC, it’s basically more God of War. More fightin’, more story, more of those fancy graphics the kids are always goin’ on about. And it’s free, which is somethin’, I guess. Can’t complain about free, can ya? Even an old woman like me can appreciate a good bargain.
My grandkids, they keep showin’ me clips of it. Looks kinda noisy to me, all that smashin’ and bangin’. But they seem to enjoy it. And I guess that’s what matters. It keeps ’em busy, keeps ’em out of trouble, mostly. Although I did catch little Timmy tryin’ to practice his Kratos moves on the cat the other day. Had to put a stop to that real quick.
They tell me it’s got a story, somethin’ about Kratos dealing with his past and his future or somethin’. Sounds heavy, like one of them soap operas my daughter used to watch. All that drama, all that emotion. Me, I prefer a good laugh. Life’s too short to be all gloomy and serious all the time.
But these kids, they like their stories complicated, I guess. They like to think about things, about the meanin’ of life, and all that jazz. Maybe they’ll learn somethin’ from this Kratos fella. Maybe they’ll learn that even a grumpy old god can find a little peace, even after all the fightin’ and killin’.
So yeah, that’s about all I know about this God of War Ragnarok Valhalla thingy. It’s free, it’s got fightin’, it’s got a story, and it keeps the kids entertained. Can’t ask for much more than that, can ya? Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go make sure little Timmy ain’t tryin’ to wrestle the cat again. That boy, always causin’ trouble!
Tags: God of War, Ragnarok, Valhalla, DLC, Kratos, Mimir, Free Update, Roguelite, PS5, PlayStation, Vanaheim, Alfheim, Sindri’s House
